Although he told her he lived in New York City and would often reference weather or traffic problems as excuses why he couldn’t connect (“He’d call and say, ‘It’s raining so bad, I can’t get a taxi, things that were relevant to where I was”), he actually lived in London.

La Personerie also discovered that an “ex-fiance” he frequently mentioned was actually another online girlfriend who, just like her, had never laid eyes on the guy.

They don’t want a real relationship as much as its virtual doppelganger.

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“The first date it was the stomach flu and then it was everything from a missed flight to a last-minute meeting to his uncle dying to getting lost to falling asleep.” La Personerie says she knew something was hinky within three weeks, but became intrigued — both with the guy (there was a definite click when they talked on the phone) and with his elusive nature.

“We only corresponded via phone or IM or whatever, but he really knew who I was,” she says.

That being said, I know it’s important for people to speak their truth and that part of that truth is not just communicating your lack of interest but that you find such talk so early on offensive. Don’t let what everyone else is doing change or influence your personal boundaries or limits.

What if you are still interested in talking but just not about sex? You might think that if you say no to every man who mentions sex in the first conversation, you won’t meet anyone.

There's the woman with the profile photo from 1992.

There's the Don Juan who says he's single, but isn't.

In 2007, Elaine La Personerie, a 33-year-old PR maven from Manhattan, answered a Craigslist ad that kicked off an intense year-long elationship.

“At first, he made all kinds of excuses for not meeting,” she says.

He may worry that you won’t think him confident or attractive enough.____Men like that have been programmed to believe that they finish last. Pay attention to the men who respect your limits and look for the ones who don’t use sex talk to get your attention.